영작교정
목록
완료

Making cat and fossil

It's art class again. This time I draw a cat and cut the cat and make it more. I was very happy. But it was made of paper, so it can brake easyily. So I carefully grab it and go home. I had science class, too. It was making dinosaur bone. It is easy to make a fossil. I put the clay in to the cast and I wait. And wait and wait. Finally the fossil is finish. The fossil's type is ammonite and a seabug. It was look like three leaf. It was nice. I want to make more dinosaur fossil.

It's art class again. This time I draw a cat and cut the cat and make it more. I was very happy. But it was made of paper, so it can brake easyily. So I carefully grab it and go home. I had science class, too. It was making dinosaur bone. It is easy to make a fossil. I put the clay in to the cast and I wait. And wait and wait. Finally the fossil is finish. The fossil's type is ammonite and a seabug. It was look like three leaf. It was nice. I want to make more dinosaur fossil.

It's art class again! This time, I drew a cat. I cut out the drawing to make several copies. I was really happy with it! But since it was made of paper, it could break easily. So, I carefully picked it up and took it home.

I also had science class today. We learned about making dinosaur bones, or rather, fossils! It turns out making a fossil is quite easy. I put some clay in the mold and waited patiently. Finally, the fossil was finished!

My fossil turned out to be an ammonite and a sea bug. It looked a bit like a three-leaf clover, which was pretty cool. I definitely want to make more dinosaur fossils!

Here's what I changed:

 

  • "Draw a cat and cut the cat and make it more": Changed to "drew a cat" and "cut out the drawing to make several copies" for clarity.
  • "Brake easyily": Changed to "break easily" for correct spelling.
  • "Grab": Changed to "picked up" for a more appropriate term in this context.
  • "Making dinosaur bone": Changed to "making dinosaur bones, or rather, fossils" for accuracy. Fossils are the remains of ancient life, not the bones themselves.
  • "It is easy to make a fossil": Changed to "It turns out making a fossil is quite easy" for smoother flow.
  • "Put in to the cast": Changed to "put some clay in the mold" for better clarity. Casts are usually for making replicas, while molds are used for shaping clay.
  • "The fossil's type is ammonite and a sea bug. It was look like three leaf": Changed to "My fossil turned out to be an ammonite and a sea bug. It looked a bit like a three-leaf clover" for better sentence structure and spelling.

 

 


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 2회 25분 12주
튜터
Erika
교재
Bread Barbershop (브레드 이발소)
[주니어] 애니메이션
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
2379
완료
[137번째 영작 첨삭] script-park
sukyung Kim
Melissa
2021.10.09
2378
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] Dear aunt Seun en
lahee
-
2021.10.08
2377
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] The Vampire’s Vacation
Aiden
Kimmy
2021.10.06
2376
완료
[26번째 영작 첨삭] 24_Replace an bulb_100521
Billie
Joel
2021.10.06
2375
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My short diary(October 6th)
Yeon-Jong Kim
-
2021.10.06
2374
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] finishing an essay on time
Kim Min Ji
-
2021.10.05
2373
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] Last Sunday
Carol
Charm
2021.10.05
2372
완료
[50번째 영작 첨삭] Korea to end shutdown law
Min
Sheena
2021.10.05
2371
완료
[34번째 영작 첨삭] My family vacation
Soi
Kimmy
2021.10.05
2370
완료
[28번째 영작 첨삭] Korea to End Shutdown Law
Eric
-
2021.10.05
2369
완료
[34번째 영작 첨삭] Korea to End shutdown law
Logan
-
2021.10.05
2368
완료
[32번째 영작 첨삭] Favorite Subject Survey Report
Irene
Therese"☎
2021.10.05
2367
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Go fishing
Aiden
Kimmy
2021.10.05
2366
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] If I can have one special power
Leo
Kimmy
2021.10.05
2365
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] Play with my friend
Jae yeong
-
2021.10.04
2364
완료
[136번째 영작 첨삭] script - health
sukyung Kim
Melissa
2021.10.04
2363
완료
[135번째 영작 첨삭] script
sukyung Kim
Melissa
2021.10.04
2362
완료
[47번째 영작 첨삭] MY dream house
Sunny
Cashy
2021.10.01
2361
완료
[33번째 영작 첨삭] Dear Mom
Soi
-
2021.10.01
2360
완료
[32번째 영작 첨삭] Please join us for a Slumber party
Soi
-
2021.10.01

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침