Oct.18.2023 Dairy

Today my dad, grandfather, and grandmother went to hospital because grandfather neck was hurt.
When dinner time we paly in playground.
And we went home I saw my friend's baby sister. I wait when my friend's came,
soon my friend's came play and went to restaurant ate jajangmyeon(black-bean-sauce noodles).
Then we ate ice cream.
It was time to go home so we went home.
It was a perfect day.

Today, my dad, grandfather, and grandmother went to the hospital because grandfather's neck was hurt.
When dinner time we play in the playground.Then we went home and I saw my friend's baby sister. I waited for my friends to come.
Soon, my friends came to play, and we went to restaurant, and ate jajangmyeon(black-bean-sauce noodles.
Then, we ate ice cream.
It was time to go home, so we went home.
It was a perfect day.

 

Note: Good day, Jian. I corrected your composition. You did well on this one. However, you have to learn how and when to use a comma. You can observe in my correction how and when to use it. The blue ones are the words that I added, while the green ones are the ones I corrected.