영작교정
목록
완료

issue 1 - question 5,6,7

5. do you usually come home early? why?

When i just turned to 20 i came home late about 3 or 4 in the morning or maybe more later.
Since i turned to 20 i could drink alcohol legally and allowed to do whatever i want! i felt like everything was new and thought i became completely an adult. i was out of control. i never listend to my parents even though they got angry at me about that.
But now i try to come home as soon as possible. nothing is new anymore, tired.


6. who do you think are busier, kids or adults?

Of course Adults. They don't get a pocket money from their parents any longer. They need to make money themself, they need to see people even they don't want, they need to do their hobbies, they put alot of efforts to have self-development.(self-improvement?) Also they need to be in realationship.
I think being an adult is tiring.

7. Which do you think is more important. making money or spending time with friend or family?

I would be more happy when i spend time with my people who i love. but if we don't work to make money i think it's alomost im possible to manage our daily life in the normal. Actually i think we make money to spend a great time with family or friens.
so i have come to the conclusion that making money is very important to do what i want to do.

5. do you usually come home early? why?

When I just turned 20 I usually came home late, about 3 or 4 in the morning or maybe later than that.
Since I turned  20 I could drink alcohol legally and allowed to do whatever I want! i felt like everything was new and thought I became completely an adult. I was out of control. I never listened to my parents even though they got angry at me about that.
But now I try to come home as soon as possible. Nothing is new anymore and I feel tired of it.


6. who do you think are busier, kids or adults?

Of course Adults. They don't get a pocket money from their parents anymore. They need to make money by themself, they need to see people even they don't want to, they need to do their hobbies, they need to put alot of efforts to have self-development.(self-improvement) Also they need to be in realationship.
I think being an adult is tiring.

7. Which do you think is more important. making money or spending time with friend or family?

I would be more happy when I spend time with the people who I love. But, if we don't work to make money i think it's almost impossible to manage our normal daily lives. Actually, I think we make money to spend a great time with family or friends.
so I have come to a conclusion that making money is very important to do the things that I really want to do.

 

----

Hello there Rim! Your answers were all good. Just be more attentive with your spelling. But, overall you did a good job.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 3회 10분 4주
교재
Speak Your Mind 1 (Senior Course)
[시니어] 프리토킹
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
7155
완료
[89번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.05.31
7154
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] My daughter
Oh Mi Hyun
Mischa
2025.05.30
7153
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Acrostic poem
Rich
Dana
2025.05.28
7152
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] homework I'm a hamburger
Liam
Shyla
2025.05.28
7151
완료
[64번째 영작 첨삭] 5/27
Min
Anna
2025.05.28
7150
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] Dear teacher
Isabella
K
2025.05.26
7149
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.05.26
7148
완료
[63번째 영작 첨삭] 5/23 (2)
Min
Anna
2025.05.26
7147
완료
[62번째 영작 첨삭] 5/23 (1)
Min
Anna
2025.05.26
7146
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] stella
stella
Krizza
2025.05.25
7145
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] Sports competition
YERIN
Remy
2025.05.24
7144
완료
[53번째 영작 첨삭] What makes a person beautiful?
JiHu
Gresha
2025.05.24
7143
완료
[88번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.05.24
7142
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] my daily morning routine
김정화
Myryl
2025.05.23
7141
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Despicable me 2
Rich
Dana
2025.05.22
7140
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] Children’s Day
Joe
Maecy
2025.05.21
7139
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] Students should choose decisions #2
Bombom Kim
Edleth
2025.05.21
7138
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] Students should choose decisions #1
Bombom Kim
Edleth
2025.05.21
7137
완료
[36번째 영작 첨삭] 2
Daniel
Edleth
2025.05.21
7136
완료
[35번째 영작 첨삭] Teenagers should be allowed to get plastic surgery
Daniel
Edleth
2025.05.21

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침