영작교정
목록
완료

It's writing Task 2. Please edit it Maribel.

In this argument, I will discuss both views and explain my personal view of "who will be pay for the cost to support the old".
People who believe that the government should play for the money to support old people have valid reasons for saying so.
First, It will be possible for them to make their communities to communicate each other if the government spends the cost and recommends the opportunity to make a conversation among them.
Second, the supporters of this argue that It's one of the government's duties to support the old. because they think that the government isn't non-profit organization compared to the corporations.
on the other hand, there are those who think that the family with the old has to pay for the money to support them.
They think so because it is impossible for the government to support the old people in the country and some people disagree the idea that the government has to support the old by using the tax. However, In the event that It would occur, The tax burdens will increase to support the old people.
Considering the views above, I believe that the government should support the old by using their money. the reason why I argue like this is we should consider social cost which means spending the money for the old people by using the government's money is the best way to reduce social conflicts.
In conclusion whether the family has to pay for the money or not, It would be a great decision to reduce the social conflicts only.

In this argument, I will discuss both views and explain my personal view of "who will be pay for the cost to support the old".
People who believe that the government should play for the money to support old people have valid reasons for saying so.
First, It will be possible for them to make their communities to communicate each other if the government spends the cost and recommends the opportunity to make a conversation among them.
Second, the supporters of this argue that It's one of the government's duties to support the old. because they think that the government isn't non-profit organization compared to the corporations.
on the other hand, there are those who think that the family with the old has to pay for the money to support them.
They think so because it is impossible for the government to support the old people in the country and some people disagree the idea that the government has to support the old by using the tax. However, In the event that It would occur, The tax burdens will increase to support the old people.
Considering the views above, I believe that the government should support the old by using their money. the reason why I argue like this is we should consider social cost which means spending the money for the old people by using the government's money is the best way to reduce social conflicts.
In conclusion whether the family has to pay for the money or not, It would be a great decision to reduce the social conflicts only.

Hi Kevin, please do not forget to state the question(s) in your compositions so that I will be able to provide you with the corrections and maybe change some vocabulary to make your response more substantial.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 3회 10분 4주
튜터
Maribel
교재
Express Yourself 1 (Senior Course)
[시니어] 프리토킹
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
3499
완료
[63번째 영작 첨삭] Jeju Island
Soi
Disney
2022.10.04
3498
완료
[219번째 영작 첨삭] script-Books
sukyung Kim
Melissa
2022.10.04
3497
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] The trip2
violet
Tine
2022.10.04
3496
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] The trip1
violet
Tine
2022.10.04
3495
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] business mail (sample)
Changeun
Joyce
2022.10.02
3494
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Chilly day
-
-
2022.09.30
3493
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] 9.29 Thursday
Rose
Therese"☎
2022.09.30
3492
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] 9.28 Wednesday
Rose
Therese"☎
2022.09.30
3491
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] Cheer your dream
violet
Tine
2022.09.30
3490
완료
[37번째 영작 첨삭] Please correct them - 9/30(2)
Kay
Kath"~☎
2022.09.30
3489
완료
[36번째 영작 첨삭] Please correct them - 9/30(1)
Kay
Kath"~☎
2022.09.30
3488
완료
[30번째 영작 첨삭] Thor Ragnarok
dominicus
Mary
2022.09.29
3487
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] The new after school activity
Richard
Jana
2022.09.29
3486
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Aurora's Daily 0929
Aurora
-
2022.09.29
3485
완료
[35번째 영작 첨삭] Can you correct these?-9/29
Kay
Kath"~☎
2022.09.29
3484
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] movie review 「Clueless , 1995」
shay
-
2022.09.28
3483
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] ninja
Sam
-
2022.09.28
3482
완료
[55번째 영작 첨삭] Chess
Aiden
Gail
2022.09.28
3481
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Last word you say
Dongwoon
-
2022.09.28
3480
완료
[29번째 영작 첨삭] Captain America
dominicus
Mary
2022.09.27

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침