When I arrived in the store, I saw the men who are famous for bodybuilding.
He is really adept in bodybuilding.
Then I began to buy my utensils in earnest.
But everything in there was nice to see. At the end of shopping, so many utensils are in my shopping cart.
After all, I carried them all to my house and started to polish them.
Now I think about it, it was back-breaking for myself.
It was yesterday.(past tense) I (was - past tense ) going to the store to buy new utensils.
When I arrived in the store, I saw the (remove) men who are ( past tense '' were'' ) famous for bodybuilding.
(He is really) You are referring to men which are in plural form, you used the singular form . You should use ''They '' adept in bodybuilding.
Then I began to buy my utensils in earnest.
But everything in there was nice to see. At the end of shopping, so many utensils are in my shopping cart.
After all, I carried them all to my house and started to polish them.
Now I think about it, it was back-breaking for myself.
You need to apply transitions to lead your readers to imagine what's going on with your story. Another way to stress your point from your story is like this:
