영작교정
목록
완료

writing no.3

The day before yesterday, I read an article that says Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea, is sick in bed and maybe in grave danger. Some intelligence insisted that Kim didn't appear in festival ceremony of his grandfather’s death. It is a really big event that all of soldiers and politicians participate in. Even though it is a usual and almost indispensable event in North Korea, being absent was enough to raise that kind of suspicion. The experts said that Kim got a surgery a month earlier the celebration and he was maybe still in bed. However, Trump and Moon said they didn’t believe Kim was in bed and hoped he was doing great.

To be honest, nobody knows this rumor is a just a rumor or a truth. The transparency is really problematic in China and North Korea, so foreign actually can’t know exactly. When my mom was told this news, she said she was so worried about outbreak of the war. She insisted people in North Korea had so much hard time continuing their lives, so they had a thought to invade South Korea and share the wealth of the people. I am not sure. I have never thought about North Korea seriously. North Korea was just a foreign nation like US and China to me. But I think North Korea means a lot to elderly because some of them went through the Korean war. Are we in a danger right now? I hope we are not. Why can we just live happily without worrying about the war?

Many thanks in advance, teacher Jick. :')

The day before yesterday, I read an article that says Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea, is sick in bed and maybe in grave danger.Some intelligence insisted that Kim didn't appear in[Article the] the festival ceremony of his grandfather’s death. It is a really big event that all of [Article the] the soldiers and politicians participate in. Even though it is a usual and almost indispensable event in North Korea, being absent was enough to raise that kind of suspicion.The experts said that Kim got a surgery a month earlier the celebration and he was maybe still in bed. However, Trump and Moon said they didn’t believe Kim was in bed and hoped he was doing great. [From "even" no corrections and the vocabulary that you used is appropriate you may use a various word to enhance it]

To be honest [you may say also: It seems to me that], nobody knows this rumor is a just a rumor [you can use this spelling "rumour"] or a [no need article A just write or truth] truth. The transparency is really problematic in China and North Korea, so foreign actually can’t know exactly. When my mom was told this news,she said she was so worried about [Use article the] the outbreak of the war. She insisted people in North Korea had so much hard time continuing their lives, so they had a thought to invade South Korea and share the wealth of the people. I am not sure. I have never thought about North Korea seriously. North Korea was just a foreign nation like [Use article the] the US and China to me. But I think North Korea means a lot to [Use the article the] the elderly because some of them went through the Korean war. Are we in a danger right now? I hope we are not. Why can we just live happily without worrying about the war?

Many thanks in advance, teacher Jick. :')

 

 

 

 


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 2회 20분 4주
교재
Express Yourself 1 (Senior Course)
[시니어] 프리토킹
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
7334
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] hi
Jiah
Myryl
2025.08.27
7333
완료
[51번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.27
7332
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] To day is frist time!
김민정
Edleth
2025.08.25
7331
완료
[50번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.25
7330
완료
[82번째 영작 첨삭] Why do I have to study English.
David
Crissia
2025.08.25
7329
완료
[14번째 영작 첨삭] Dear. Rishelle
윤도현
Rishelle
2025.08.25
7328
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Funny sking
Terry
Vivien
2025.08.23
7327
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] Today's man·i·to
kim bo min
Joel
2025.08.23
7326
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] I'm take done
kim bo min
Joel
2025.08.23
7325
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] I'm take done
kim bo min
Joel
2025.08.23
7324
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] I'm take done
kim bo min
Joel
2025.08.23
7323
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] I'm take done
kim bo min
Joel
2025.08.23
7322
완료
[78번째 영작 첨삭] 8/18
Min
Anna
2025.08.22
7321
완료
[77번째 영작 첨삭] 8/18
Min
Anna
2025.08.22
7320
완료
[49번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.20
7319
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] Oh no!
KIMMINJUN
Rosy
2025.08.20
7318
완료
[81번째 영작 첨삭] Swiming
David
Crissia
2025.08.20
7317
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] Going to creek with grandparents.
Joe
Maecy
2025.08.18
7316
완료
[48번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.18
7315
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] 8.13.2025 Diary
romy
Lin
2025.08.14
1 2 3 4 5 6 7

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침