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writing no.3

The day before yesterday, I read an article that says Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea, is sick in bed and maybe in grave danger. Some intelligence insisted that Kim didn't appear in festival ceremony of his grandfather’s death. It is a really big event that all of soldiers and politicians participate in. Even though it is a usual and almost indispensable event in North Korea, being absent was enough to raise that kind of suspicion. The experts said that Kim got a surgery a month earlier the celebration and he was maybe still in bed. However, Trump and Moon said they didn’t believe Kim was in bed and hoped he was doing great.

To be honest, nobody knows this rumor is a just a rumor or a truth. The transparency is really problematic in China and North Korea, so foreign actually can’t know exactly. When my mom was told this news, she said she was so worried about outbreak of the war. She insisted people in North Korea had so much hard time continuing their lives, so they had a thought to invade South Korea and share the wealth of the people. I am not sure. I have never thought about North Korea seriously. North Korea was just a foreign nation like US and China to me. But I think North Korea means a lot to elderly because some of them went through the Korean war. Are we in a danger right now? I hope we are not. Why can we just live happily without worrying about the war?

Many thanks in advance, teacher Jick. :')

The day before yesterday, I read an article that says Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea, is sick in bed and maybe in grave danger.Some intelligence insisted that Kim didn't appear in[Article the] the festival ceremony of his grandfather’s death. It is a really big event that all of [Article the] the soldiers and politicians participate in. Even though it is a usual and almost indispensable event in North Korea, being absent was enough to raise that kind of suspicion.The experts said that Kim got a surgery a month earlier the celebration and he was maybe still in bed. However, Trump and Moon said they didn’t believe Kim was in bed and hoped he was doing great. [From "even" no corrections and the vocabulary that you used is appropriate you may use a various word to enhance it]

To be honest [you may say also: It seems to me that], nobody knows this rumor is a just a rumor [you can use this spelling "rumour"] or a [no need article A just write or truth] truth. The transparency is really problematic in China and North Korea, so foreign actually can’t know exactly. When my mom was told this news,she said she was so worried about [Use article the] the outbreak of the war. She insisted people in North Korea had so much hard time continuing their lives, so they had a thought to invade South Korea and share the wealth of the people. I am not sure. I have never thought about North Korea seriously. North Korea was just a foreign nation like [Use article the] the US and China to me. But I think North Korea means a lot to [Use the article the] the elderly because some of them went through the Korean war. Are we in a danger right now? I hope we are not. Why can we just live happily without worrying about the war?

Many thanks in advance, teacher Jick. :')

 

 

 

 


수강정보
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