영작교정
목록
완료

An example of IELTS writing task2.

I agree with the statement that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.
Museums need money to maintain good condition for public people. Facilities, employees salary and other expenses are required. According to one of art articles, Louvre museum's one-year expense is over hundreds million dollars. It's remarkable expensive to justify for free admission fee. For this reason, the museum won't handle this if people don't charge the fee. Moreover, visitors can't see clean circumstances and high quality services. Therefore, people should pay for keeping good condition for museums.
When it comes to explain other reason, I believe that people have a duty to protect our art legacy by charging for admission. Each art is meaningful. Because it shows contemporary situation and historical record. For instance, Picasso drew "Guernika" after the world war two. He was shocked about the miserable moment of the war. He wanted to show the dismal situation at that time as a drawing. Like Picasso's art, art has significant meaning for human being. That's why people have to preserve their heritage. I think that the best action is paying for entrance fee of museums. Whether the cost is affordable or expensive, we should aware the value of art.
In conclusion, I reckon that the advances exceed the disadvantages for charging admission of museums.

I agree with the statement that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums OUTWEIGHS the disadvantages.
Museums need money FOR ITS MAINTENANCE IN CONSIDERATION OF THE PUBLIC PEOPLE. Facilities, employees salary and other expenses SHOULD BE MANDATORY. According to one of art articles, Louvre museum's one-year expense COST over hundreds OF million dollars. It's REMARKABLY expensive to justify for A free admission. For this reason, the museum MIGHT NOT handle this if people don't charge the fee. Moreover, visitors can't see clean circumstances and high quality services. Therefore, people should BE REQUIRED TO pay for keeping THE MUSEUM IN GOOD CONDITION.
ANOTHER reason IS, I believe that people SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE IN PROTECTING our art legacy by charging for admission. Each art is CRUCIAL. Because it shows contemporary situation and historical record. For instance, Picasso drew "Guernika" after the world war two. He was shocked about the miserable moment of the war. He wanted to show the dismal situation at that time THROUGH HIS drawing. Like Picasso's art, art has ITS significant meaning for human being. That's why people have to preserve their heritage. THEREFORE I CAN SAY that the best action is paying for AN entrance fee of museums. Whether the cost is affordable or expensive, we should GIVE IMPORTANCE TO the value of art.
In conclusion, I reckon that the ADVANTAGES exceeds the disadvantages for charging the admission of museums.


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 5회 30분 4주
교재
What Do You Think 1
[시니어] 프리토킹
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
7276
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] Teacher, i have a favor to ask you!
stella
Edleth
2025.07.27
7275
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] To Mischa
Oh Mi Hyun
Mischa
2025.07.25
7274
완료
[42번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.07.23
7273
완료
[72번째 영작 첨삭] 7/22
Min
Anna
2025.07.22
7272
완료
[41번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.07.21
7271
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] Can you check my script? (2)
stella
Edleth
2025.07.20
7270
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] Can you check my script? (1)
stella
Edleth
2025.07.20
7269
완료
[56번째 영작 첨삭] The good friends what I think.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.07.19
7268
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] SWIMMING POOL
Rich
Dana
2025.07.19
7267
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Raining
kim bo min
Joel
2025.07.18
7266
완료
[41번째 영작 첨삭] 2
Daniel
Edleth
2025.07.16
7265
완료
[40번째 영작 첨삭] Should electric cars replace gasoline cars?
Daniel
Edleth
2025.07.16
7264
완료
[14번째 영작 첨삭] Husband's office
Oh Mi Hyun
Mischa
2025.07.16
7263
완료
[40번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.07.16
7262
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] make sentences
김정화
Myryl
2025.07.14
7261
완료
[39번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.07.14
7260
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] Fun Dodgeball
YERIN
Heanna
2025.07.13
7259
완료
[77번째 영작 첨삭] Tanzania
-
Crissia
2025.07.13
7258
완료
[55번째 영작 첨삭] Three Things What I Want TO Do During This Summer.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.07.12
7257
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] Today 's feeling
kim bo min
Joel
2025.07.12
8 9 10 11 12 13 14

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침