영작교정
목록
완료

An example of IELTS writing task2.

I agree with the statement that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.
Museums need money to maintain good condition for public people. Facilities, employees salary and other expenses are required. According to one of art articles, Louvre museum's one-year expense is over hundreds million dollars. It's remarkable expensive to justify for free admission fee. For this reason, the museum won't handle this if people don't charge the fee. Moreover, visitors can't see clean circumstances and high quality services. Therefore, people should pay for keeping good condition for museums.
When it comes to explain other reason, I believe that people have a duty to protect our art legacy by charging for admission. Each art is meaningful. Because it shows contemporary situation and historical record. For instance, Picasso drew "Guernika" after the world war two. He was shocked about the miserable moment of the war. He wanted to show the dismal situation at that time as a drawing. Like Picasso's art, art has significant meaning for human being. That's why people have to preserve their heritage. I think that the best action is paying for entrance fee of museums. Whether the cost is affordable or expensive, we should aware the value of art.
In conclusion, I reckon that the advances exceed the disadvantages for charging admission of museums.

I agree with the statement that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums OUTWEIGHS the disadvantages.
Museums need money FOR ITS MAINTENANCE IN CONSIDERATION OF THE PUBLIC PEOPLE. Facilities, employees salary and other expenses SHOULD BE MANDATORY. According to one of art articles, Louvre museum's one-year expense COST over hundreds OF million dollars. It's REMARKABLY expensive to justify for A free admission. For this reason, the museum MIGHT NOT handle this if people don't charge the fee. Moreover, visitors can't see clean circumstances and high quality services. Therefore, people should BE REQUIRED TO pay for keeping THE MUSEUM IN GOOD CONDITION.
ANOTHER reason IS, I believe that people SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE IN PROTECTING our art legacy by charging for admission. Each art is CRUCIAL. Because it shows contemporary situation and historical record. For instance, Picasso drew "Guernika" after the world war two. He was shocked about the miserable moment of the war. He wanted to show the dismal situation at that time THROUGH HIS drawing. Like Picasso's art, art has ITS significant meaning for human being. That's why people have to preserve their heritage. THEREFORE I CAN SAY that the best action is paying for AN entrance fee of museums. Whether the cost is affordable or expensive, we should GIVE IMPORTANCE TO the value of art.
In conclusion, I reckon that the ADVANTAGES exceeds the disadvantages for charging the admission of museums.


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 5회 30분 4주
교재
What Do You Think 1
[시니어] 프리토킹
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
7316
완료
[48번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.18
7315
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] 8.13.2025 Diary
romy
Lin
2025.08.14
7314
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Tell me about yourself
Hani
Alice
2025.08.13
7313
완료
[47번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.13
7312
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Mercy watson
문아율
Maria
2025.08.13
7311
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] Minjun's story
KIMMINJUN
Rosy
2025.08.12
7310
완료
[46번째 영작 첨삭] homework >_< : >
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.11
7309
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] Swimming pool with my friend
Joe
Maecy
2025.08.11
7308
완료
[80번째 영작 첨삭] Deserted Island
David
Crissia
2025.08.11
7307
완료
[79번째 영작 첨삭] Go to aunt house
David
Crissia
2025.08.10
7306
완료
[78번째 영작 첨삭] I want to visit Tanzania
David
Crissia
2025.08.09
7305
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Last story and another story
KIMMINJUN
Rosy
2025.08.09
7304
완료
[76번째 영작 첨삭] 8/7
Min
Anna
2025.08.07
7303
완료
[75번째 영작 첨삭] 8/5
Min
Anna
2025.08.07
7302
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Minjun and Junmin's story
KIMMINJUN
Rosy
2025.08.07
7301
완료
[43번째 영작 첨삭] 2
Daniel
Edleth
2025.08.06
7300
완료
[42번째 영작 첨삭] Should students choose college majors based on their academy interests?
Daniel
Edleth
2025.08.06
7299
완료
[45번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.06
7298
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Junmin and minjun's story
KIMMINJUN
Rosy
2025.08.06
7297
완료
[58번째 영작 첨삭] If I were a baseball player.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.08.06
1 2 3 4 5 6 7

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침