영작교정
목록
완료

An example of IELTS writing task2.

I agree with the statement that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.
Museums need money to maintain good condition for public people. Facilities, employees salary and other expenses are required. According to one of art articles, Louvre museum's one-year expense is over hundreds million dollars. It's remarkable expensive to justify for free admission fee. For this reason, the museum won't handle this if people don't charge the fee. Moreover, visitors can't see clean circumstances and high quality services. Therefore, people should pay for keeping good condition for museums.
When it comes to explain other reason, I believe that people have a duty to protect our art legacy by charging for admission. Each art is meaningful. Because it shows contemporary situation and historical record. For instance, Picasso drew "Guernika" after the world war two. He was shocked about the miserable moment of the war. He wanted to show the dismal situation at that time as a drawing. Like Picasso's art, art has significant meaning for human being. That's why people have to preserve their heritage. I think that the best action is paying for entrance fee of museums. Whether the cost is affordable or expensive, we should aware the value of art.
In conclusion, I reckon that the advances exceed the disadvantages for charging admission of museums.

I agree with the statement that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums OUTWEIGHS the disadvantages.
Museums need money FOR ITS MAINTENANCE IN CONSIDERATION OF THE PUBLIC PEOPLE. Facilities, employees salary and other expenses SHOULD BE MANDATORY. According to one of art articles, Louvre museum's one-year expense COST over hundreds OF million dollars. It's REMARKABLY expensive to justify for A free admission. For this reason, the museum MIGHT NOT handle this if people don't charge the fee. Moreover, visitors can't see clean circumstances and high quality services. Therefore, people should BE REQUIRED TO pay for keeping THE MUSEUM IN GOOD CONDITION.
ANOTHER reason IS, I believe that people SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE IN PROTECTING our art legacy by charging for admission. Each art is CRUCIAL. Because it shows contemporary situation and historical record. For instance, Picasso drew "Guernika" after the world war two. He was shocked about the miserable moment of the war. He wanted to show the dismal situation at that time THROUGH HIS drawing. Like Picasso's art, art has ITS significant meaning for human being. That's why people have to preserve their heritage. THEREFORE I CAN SAY that the best action is paying for AN entrance fee of museums. Whether the cost is affordable or expensive, we should GIVE IMPORTANCE TO the value of art.
In conclusion, I reckon that the ADVANTAGES exceeds the disadvantages for charging the admission of museums.


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 5회 30분 4주
교재
What Do You Think 1
[시니어] 프리토킹
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6439
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] My Favorite Television Show
John
Franz
2024.09.22
6438
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] Going to a cave♡
wendy
MJ
2024.09.21
6437
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] My hardest Subject
John
Franz
2024.09.21
6436
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] My Hardest Subject
John
Franz
2024.09.21
6435
완료
[49번째 영작 첨삭] Movie
David
Rainbow
2024.09.21
6434
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] Day6. Chuseok
Clara Choi
Dashiell
2024.09.20
6433
완료
[26번째 영작 첨삭] A Thanks Giving Day
JiHu
Gresha
2024.09.20
6432
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Ms Cor.
김지현
Cor
2024.09.20
6431
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] On vacation
김지현
Cor
2024.09.20
6430
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] My Favorite Movie Detective Conan
John
Franz
2024.09.20
6429
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] Chuseok
유미
Janine
2024.09.20
6428
완료
[40번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2024.09.20
6427
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Vietnam
SOYOON
Pia
2024.09.19
6426
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] The Geoje Island
Jemin
South
2024.09.19
6425
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My Favorite Sports Golf 2
John
Franz
2024.09.19
6424
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Colors
Jeon minseo
Lynrose
2024.09.18
6423
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My Favorite Sports is Golf
John
Franz
2024.09.18
6422
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] Grandmother came to my house
Sharon
Nan
2024.09.17
6421
완료
[39번째 영작 첨삭] Holiday diary 2
Yoon
Anna
2024.09.14
6420
완료
[38번째 영작 첨삭] Holiday diary 1
Yoon
Anna
2024.09.14

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침